When role models failPosted on Fri, February 1st, 2008
Written by: Jennifer Farnsworth, Parent Pages Writer
email: cdparentpg@aol.com So where have all the good role models gone? From athletes taking steroids, to elected officials lying, to the most popular teenage television star, it’s hard to trust that the posters of celebrities you buy for your young teens and adolescents might not end up in the trash, and not because your child has out grown them.
Last year was the year of the over indulgent female star ending up in a downward spiral and the latest news Jamie Lynn Spears, Brittany Spear’s little sister and the star of Nickolodean’s tween show Zoe 101, is not helping matters. The teen star seemed to managing to escape the dark cloud over her sister’s head, but her recently announced pregnancy, at age 16, is instead leaving her young fans feeling confused and let down.
Karen Kattato, mom of Amanda and Alison, said her girls grew up listening to Britney Spears and are addicted to her kid sister’s show. Now she has the job of explaining to her pre-teens why the star will no longer be on TV.
“It’s hard to go from watching a show and connecting to this person as a star and a character, to just pretending that this person no longer exists. It is not a topic you can avoid.
It gets even more difficult to talk about it when there are instances when teenagers do manage to make it work, to grow up alongside their child and have a happy ending. Although not usually the case, it does not always end in disaster. In addition, for the thousands of women struggling with infertility thinking about adoption, a healthy baby from a teenage mom willing to give up her rights, is a blessing not a mistake. It is a lot to sort of out parents and experts are saying the best approach is helping you children sort out what the actual facts of life really are. If they are old enough to ask questions, they are probably mature enough for factual answers. Understanding how the body works and what the consequences are remains the most important ways to discuss sex and pregnancy with your children.
Bridget Rocco of the Northeastern AIDS Council of New York said one thing she has learned, as a social worker is it is crucial to educate teens before they make decisions. She said one great resource is
www.teenwire.com. An area of the site tells true tales of being a teenage mother, from changes in your body, to the lack of sleep, to the enormous amount of responsibility, the Web site chow its’ not all buying cute clothes.
“Educating young adolescents before they are in uncomfortable situations is still the best way to go. Having young girls look up to their moms, grandmas and aunts also tends to serve as the best option as a role. If you can look at your mom and be proud you are going to care about what she thinks of your decision, helping you make the best ones for your,” said Rocco.
It is also important to remind children, whether its’ about Jamie Lynn Spears or not, that the characters on their favorite television shows are just that, characters, not real people. The idea of television is to provide an escape, so it is important to bring your kids back down to earth and remind them that most of the children of the world are not rock star, do not live in hotel suites and are not psychic.
It is also important to keep a balanced perspective on the issue of teen pregnancy. For a girl in high school who does return from having a baby and who is trying to complete her education to support that child, you do not want her peers shunning her for making a “poor decision.” Many schools have implemented or are looking into programs that would help teen mothers continue their education.
The New York State Civil Liberties Union has actively fought to protect the rights of teen mothers as well as to ensure the state provides adequate sex education for teens and adolescents. In September of 2007, New York State Department of Health publicly announced that they have cancelled all existing contracts awarded under Title V, one of the principal federal funding streams for abstinence-only-until-marriage programs, and it has pledged to use the state-matching funds for programs aimed at pregnancy prevention.
"It's time to stop wasting taxpayer money on ideologically driven programs that don't work," said Donna Lieberman, NYCLU executive director. "While spending millions of dollars on these ineffective programs, the state hasn't spent a single dollar on age-appropriate, medically accurate, comprehensive sexuality education. This must change."
There is an overwhelming amount of information, support and opinions on ant topic having to do with teens, role models and raising responsible happy children. The most important first step to take is keeping open lines of communications and installing good values. Your kids do listen and in the end, parents are their greatest role models.”
You can contact cdparentpg@aol.com with any questions. Also, feel free to post comments below.
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